Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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