Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
