you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
they're like a gay fantastic four
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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