Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
