The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
