I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
