His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
