I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
