Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
