He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
