So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
