I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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