Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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