he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
