Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
