the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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