Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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