im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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