I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
