We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
