Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We are two peas in an std pod
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
