Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
