Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Who died my cat blue again?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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