the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
