i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You pole danced in your parka.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
