i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
