yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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