Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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