I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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