I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
