you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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