Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
