She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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