I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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