i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
