Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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