He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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