no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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