I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
