How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
