I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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