I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
