Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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