so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize