it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
