North Korea, Best Korea!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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