Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
