i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
