I love black thongs
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
