Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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