Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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