when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
