I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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