it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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