i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize