Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
