How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
