do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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