I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
